Post by Del on Sept 14, 2009 14:47:01 GMT -8
An essay I had to write my senior year on why I turned my paper in late. I couldn't fathom how to actually write one, so I just made a bunch of crap up and my teacher ended up loving it lol.
How in the world could an individual forget about an assigned essay? Many factors come into play. One could lose their planner, and forget that there are other ways of reminding one’s self to do something. One could read an assignment due date hand-out incorrectly, and think it is strange that they had no assigned homework. And one may be deemed with situations so extraordinary that the events totally wipe any inkling of an essay from one’s mind. My situation is such.
It was dawn, and I was still in my bath towel, when the ninjas attacked! It was the dreaded Butterfly Faction – my sworn rival and enemy. I begged them to save this assault for another day, declaring that I had to write an essay for Mrs. Langdahl. Fearing for my life, I had no choice but to fight back, my bath towel my only ally. An assailant lunged at me with their katana drawn, yet I dodged with ease. As the fool stumbled past me I snapped at him with my towel, leaving great welts upon his back. Now my adrenaline was pumping, and all thoughts were focused on survival. You see, fighting off a mob of angry ninjas with little more than a towel and your birthday suit is not a task easily done. So, surrounded by the enemy, I tried to maintain my cool. The odds were not in my favor, yet I knew I had to overcome this obstacle in order to write my imaginative essay. I made my decision; I would decimate the enemy for keeping me from my beloved homework. I ran forward; releasing a stanching battle cry. I could see the fear it instilled in my opponents, for they knew now that they had been mistaken to insist on this quarrel. Swiftly, I raised my towel and brought it down like a club on the first person’s head I reached. Then I swung my towel around and chopped off the head of the next ninja; a shower of blood rained down upon my body.
“Who wants some!?” I screamed. No one stepped forward in challenge. I then laughed at them. I laughed at the fools who dared to challenge me, now too scared to even flee! “Run you plebeians! Run!” I shouted! They all took this opportunity and ran, but I would not let them. I bounded after the remaining few and took them out one by one as cruelly as I could. Now my home was a field of corpses, and I reveled in it! I stood over them, looking down at their dead faces triumphantly. I breathed a sigh of relief, for now I could finally write my essay that was due the next day. I stumbled to the computer desk in our houses TV room, sitting down in our swiveling chair. Ah! How good it felt to relax. I clicked on Microsoft Word, and just as I was about to type the first words of my essay, the door burst open; It was my mother. She looked at the bloody mess about her usually pristine home, and let out a wail so fearsome that I could do nothing but adopt the fetal position and cower.
“Have you been fighting enemy ninja clans AGAIN?!” She screamed. “You’ll clean this mess up yourself young man, so help me god!”
“But mother, I need to write this essay, and the hours of the day are swiftly fleeing!” I pleaded as I tried to reason with this banshee! I was given a resounding no and ordered to clean the mess I’d made. Now, a new kind of battle ensued. One fraught with bleach and floor cleaners, rubber gloves, and toothbrushes! Oh how gruesome it was! It was a horror I can remember only faintly now after copious sessions of therapy. It was so terrible that any thoughts of my essay were utterly destroyed. Now done, I retired to my chamber, all energy and capability of intelligent thought gone. And it was in this stupor that I fell into a deep dreamless slumber. The next morning I awoke refreshed, my essay completely forgotten. I left for school early as I often do, unaware that in a few hours my whole life would fall apart once again.
So this is my story, and yes, I deem it extraordinary. I now implore you to find it in your heart to forgive my lapse in memory, and please accept my imaginative essay. Not only would it benefit me, but I’m sure it would make you feel ecstatic to know that you have given new hope to a boy who thought it gone forever. I realize you remain the right not to be persuaded, but how could you not be?
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Excuses, Excuses
How in the world could an individual forget about an assigned essay? Many factors come into play. One could lose their planner, and forget that there are other ways of reminding one’s self to do something. One could read an assignment due date hand-out incorrectly, and think it is strange that they had no assigned homework. And one may be deemed with situations so extraordinary that the events totally wipe any inkling of an essay from one’s mind. My situation is such.
It was dawn, and I was still in my bath towel, when the ninjas attacked! It was the dreaded Butterfly Faction – my sworn rival and enemy. I begged them to save this assault for another day, declaring that I had to write an essay for Mrs. Langdahl. Fearing for my life, I had no choice but to fight back, my bath towel my only ally. An assailant lunged at me with their katana drawn, yet I dodged with ease. As the fool stumbled past me I snapped at him with my towel, leaving great welts upon his back. Now my adrenaline was pumping, and all thoughts were focused on survival. You see, fighting off a mob of angry ninjas with little more than a towel and your birthday suit is not a task easily done. So, surrounded by the enemy, I tried to maintain my cool. The odds were not in my favor, yet I knew I had to overcome this obstacle in order to write my imaginative essay. I made my decision; I would decimate the enemy for keeping me from my beloved homework. I ran forward; releasing a stanching battle cry. I could see the fear it instilled in my opponents, for they knew now that they had been mistaken to insist on this quarrel. Swiftly, I raised my towel and brought it down like a club on the first person’s head I reached. Then I swung my towel around and chopped off the head of the next ninja; a shower of blood rained down upon my body.
“Who wants some!?” I screamed. No one stepped forward in challenge. I then laughed at them. I laughed at the fools who dared to challenge me, now too scared to even flee! “Run you plebeians! Run!” I shouted! They all took this opportunity and ran, but I would not let them. I bounded after the remaining few and took them out one by one as cruelly as I could. Now my home was a field of corpses, and I reveled in it! I stood over them, looking down at their dead faces triumphantly. I breathed a sigh of relief, for now I could finally write my essay that was due the next day. I stumbled to the computer desk in our houses TV room, sitting down in our swiveling chair. Ah! How good it felt to relax. I clicked on Microsoft Word, and just as I was about to type the first words of my essay, the door burst open; It was my mother. She looked at the bloody mess about her usually pristine home, and let out a wail so fearsome that I could do nothing but adopt the fetal position and cower.
“Have you been fighting enemy ninja clans AGAIN?!” She screamed. “You’ll clean this mess up yourself young man, so help me god!”
“But mother, I need to write this essay, and the hours of the day are swiftly fleeing!” I pleaded as I tried to reason with this banshee! I was given a resounding no and ordered to clean the mess I’d made. Now, a new kind of battle ensued. One fraught with bleach and floor cleaners, rubber gloves, and toothbrushes! Oh how gruesome it was! It was a horror I can remember only faintly now after copious sessions of therapy. It was so terrible that any thoughts of my essay were utterly destroyed. Now done, I retired to my chamber, all energy and capability of intelligent thought gone. And it was in this stupor that I fell into a deep dreamless slumber. The next morning I awoke refreshed, my essay completely forgotten. I left for school early as I often do, unaware that in a few hours my whole life would fall apart once again.
So this is my story, and yes, I deem it extraordinary. I now implore you to find it in your heart to forgive my lapse in memory, and please accept my imaginative essay. Not only would it benefit me, but I’m sure it would make you feel ecstatic to know that you have given new hope to a boy who thought it gone forever. I realize you remain the right not to be persuaded, but how could you not be?
